Unfortunate Tales of The South

I'm pretty sure that in all of my over excitement and ill-planned haste I brought this upon myself.. But I'll tell you that I did not care for it all the same!  My first day on the South Island went like this..

I got off the ferry in Picton and went to pick up my rental car, but they wouldn't let me have it because I didn't have a credit card.  A NZ debit card would not suffice it's seems.  In a panic at what to do now that all the buses out of there were booked up too, I went to the rental company next door...  I walked in and saw that the teller was a big butch lesbian (my blog, I'll stereotype if I want to) and so shamelessly played damsel in distress and flirted my way to a Nissan Tiida... With a discount 🙈

Safely on the road (minus my soul) I'd say I was 45mins into the journey and got pulled over by the police, breathalysed roadside and given a $120 fine for speeding. 

I rushed (within the speed limits of the NZ law) to Kaikoura for the whale watching tour I'd booked to do today.  As I arrived within an inch I was told that the tour had been cancelled because of weather conditions...

Determined to do something worthwhile on my day here, I drove the coast of Kaikoura looking for a seal colony that I read about in the LP... Not before the engine light of my Nissan came on though....  I just pulled up roadside and put my head to my steering wheel trying to figure out what I'd do, in ghost town, without any breakdown cover.... Luckily by the time I looked back up the light had gone off again.  For how long, we shall see..

I made it to the seal colony And that was awesome!  This beast was just sleeping on a rock, practically on the side of the road!!

It was early eve now so I decided I'd check in somewhere here and try the whale tour again tomorrow.  So I went back and try for an age to get into a car, that turned out not to be mine! And while I tried to get back my key that was now wedged in to the door of a strangers vehicle, a seagull did a watery shit on the roof of the car that splashed back onto my neck and jacket.  Perfect!

Wiped clean and in my own ride, I scrawled the internet trying to find somewhere to stay, but what's that, everywhere in town is full?  Of course is it!  So I bit the bullet and decided I'd have to drive 3 hours to the next city, Christchurch.

Half way to Christchurch I thought 'Shit Id better look for somewhere to stay there too!', so picked up my phone to get some hostel numbers and my battery is now on 2%.. Of which I'll need as sat nav when I get the city. I text my buddy Niamh McCallion to have a look online for me while I keep driving.... Oh but there are none available within double my maximum price limit?!

So with zero accommodation where I came from OR where I'm going to, I eventually drive through a tiny hick town and see a hotel.  They've got a room, I'm staying here.  I ask if there are any shops around to get food etc, but there isn't one for an hour drive either way.  I jest and say 'jeez it's the middle of nowhere hey' and the old guy says 'you're in the South Island of New Zealand young lady!' clearly offended by my bants.  All he can offer is a bottle shop he has next to the hotel, so I collect a bottle of Merlot, a double Picnic bar and get settled for the night in what looks like the beginning scenes of Wolf Creek..