Salta

With our beautiful Dutch friend Ghislane in tow, we came to Salta on a whim and.. it was ok.  There are beautiful cathedrals and ancient buildings a plenty, but what we were promised was the new backpackers destination of choice, was a bit meeeeh..

Day one we went in search of what were called 'hot springs..a beautiful natural lake heated at the source'.......appaz. 

We get an hour bus ride to a desolate town with no shops, road signs, nothing. The first person we came across was a shirtless man polishing a butchers knive at the bus stop.. Course.  We then found a lady selling ice cream out of her window who told us the springs were 20 mins away and to flag any car to take us, because all cars are taxis here! So against everything in our twitchy bums, we got in a fiat with a guy that looked the least likey to off with us, and off we went..

The springs turned out to be an abandoned local swimming pool with a handful of rotund locals in it, and a 3.5 legged dog..... Sooooooo we necked some boozo and planned our return trip of death... In a car of 6, lil bird on my knee, and a strange man sitting next to us taking pictures of us?  Yeah!

Day two we went to the MAAM Museum to see some original Inca findings, which was pretty awesome. We got to see a perfectly preserved Inca boy that had been sacrificed thousands of years ago, and found completely intact.. Full head of hair and every ting!

Just had a park frolic, now packing for the Bolivia salt flats..

Wine?

So we came to Mendoza for 2 days with a couple of pals we'd met along the travel path, and it was lurverly!

First day we went on a wine tour via pushbike, drank all the grapes in the land, and still kept all of our front teeth (handlebars).  It was really beautiful and relaxing.. and comical, and pretty hazardous.

Second day we went on a HORSE RIDE through the outback!  This was wicked times..bad times for our arses, but ticked off the bucket listo for sure!  Me and lil bird attempted to fek off on the horses at the end, but feared being taken down by a riffle bullet to the heed

The eve finished off with an eat and drink all you can moonlight feast.. Of which we almost got thrown out Homer Simpson stylee for our max vino consumption.. Don't judge us, we're in Mendoza alright!

Stop 10 of Los Travelos is Salta.. No clue what goes on here but we're almost fully roque now, soooo you know....

Bien Buenos

Buenos Aires is awesome! Too awesome. We spent an extra night here and probably double the budget, and still didn't do everything we definitely should have!

It's a huge city with a mix of the poorest of the poor, and the make you wanna cry a bit beautiful (us obvs), and so so much to see.. I'd like to think one day I will live here.. yes, I think I will.

Physically your eyes can't take in all there is to see and do here.. You'll be going about your lunchtime business, completely unawares of the amazing buildings around you, or the world famous landmarks that are on every corner.. Serious sexuality for the eyes!

La Boca is beautiful! To the locals it's the poor side of town, but to tourists is probs one of the coolest.  It's an area full of multicoloured buildings and street dancers.. We even got to see some dogs dressed in full Argentina football strips, that's cool shit

We went to see La Recoleta Cemetery one day, which houses the carcass of Evita.  The place was amazing amazing and also haunt your dreams weird.  Apparently the richer you are the bigger your grave is, so some were literally as big as houses!  They also had the coffins still inside for all to see.. Shit your bed times.

We met up with loads of peeps from Flora and even went to a Pacha one night.  It was defo not on the 'cultural list', but we realised as the sun came up that we were on a beach.. So felt better about being losers!

Next we go to Mendoza for the worlds wine consumption plus horse riding!😁😁

Iguazu

Next we took a death drive through the eye of a tropical storm.  But no matter, as it brought us to this..

Iguazu Falls are so big you can see them from 3 countries, and we literally stood ontop of them.. Whateves!!

No words could justify what we saw..

So there.

Samba!

We went to a traditional Brazilian Samba club last night, and it was bloody brilliant!

We got to a wooden shack in the middle of nowhere, paid about £2 to get in, and just got amongst it didn't we!

There was a live Samba band and singers (at one point a guy in his 70s with no shoes on), and everyone was going crazy for it!  People of all ages and sizes were just grabbing each other and it was on, full grindy times!

Everyone was crammed into this tiny room, pissing with sweat and they just didn't care.. it was awesome, properly wicked tings!

So now we have professional snake hips and are well reads for the Argentinian Tango..

Floza

12 hour night bus times and we're in Florianopolis, a beautiful island doon the soof of Brazil.  We're staying in a hostel over looking a lake that you can swim in.. Lush town.

We've mostly tanned and boozed here really, and eaten everything in our sights!

On our first night we had an impromptu beach party with new hostel pals and some Argentinians with guitars.  It was all very backpacker'ish civilised times, until a Bristolian girl we met came to tell us she'd been for a shit behind a rock and dipped her A town in the sea for a wash!

Our clumsy levels have increased tenfold so we're covered in crackwhore-esk bruises which is sexual.  Yesterday I tripped over a doormat and lay winded on the floor for the cleaner and our 2 new roommates to find.  Hewo!

We met some Manch girls yesterday and all went to a beach party on the other side of the island, wicked times.  We got talking to some Brazilians on a stag and spent the eve in VIP being plied with the booze that would later see us getting in what we thought was a taxi, until the driver started to take pictures of us.. Twats!

Samba is massive here, so tonight we're going to a club to learn how to do it, although I'm confident that Dirty Dancing has already taught me what I need to know.  Tonight might be the night of a full Swayze lift!!

Tomorrow we leave Brazil, and head for Iguaza Falls in Argentina.. bum twitch excitement!

Say'o

São Paulo.. what is said to be Brazils answer to NYC, was a slight anti climes for us.  Its definitely a cool city in places (crochet lamp post covers) but over all is just a bit shit up! 

The carnival has taken its toll on a lot of the country, and some streets look like people have literally Bruce Almighty'd out of their costumes and left them where they fell.. And smell like they left a poo and a wee there also.

A lot of bars and restaurants hadn't opened either, but determined to go owt owt (wasn't going to let the fact we had taken a brush to our hair for the first time in a week go to waste) we went to a rock club until 9am this morn... Making today a mostly eat, sleep, weep day. 

We've met some more peeps from around the globe.. We have a contact in Columbia now, and an offer of somewhere to stay from an Argentinian.. Although I'm not 100% sure he didn't mean in a 'ménage à trois' situation!

So we've seen some cool graffiti and got to use a hair dryer.. But all in all are pretty excited to be going to Florianopolis this eve.. The night bus times, not so much.

We've also decided a Colorado accent is our very least favourite.

Paraty Party

So next was a short and sweet stay in Paraty.. A beautiful, colonial coastal town South of Rio (been reading The Lonely Planet much!)

We're guilty of not doing a lot here to be honest having only really passed through.. So mooched around with some pals we met on the bus, ate some cake and went to a beach..

It was apparently national ladies day yesterday, so we celebrated our womanly regions by drinking the worlds strongest cocktail, a Caprinha.  I genuinely think a couple of mouthfuls could blind you.. So we had a pint of it, because we're 'ard!

We saw lots of things going on around the streets come the weekend eve, our favourite was this guy buskin by making amazing paintings using only paint cans! We're pretty sure he was totally off his heed.. But we were half a Caprinha down and in no place to judge.

Today we saw a horse on the street! Just in your regular residential area, chowing down next a phone box like it was no thang.  I could have mounted it and rode off like a gipsy!........ Just realised how deeply upset I am with myself for not doing that..

So packo backo commenses again.. This time in prep for a 6 hour bus journey to São Paulo, a city that never sleeps 😳

Grande Times

So after the intense times of Rio we are in this sexy bastard.. Ilah Grande.

It's like stepping into a postcard! A walk around with no shoes on, all the islanders know your name kind of place.  Paradise times!

Most of the eateries here are 'por kilo' which means you pay for the weight of your food.. This is also the case in the ice cream shops, which we learned after squeezing the worlds dulce de letch into a cone.. So now we eat 2 meals a day, our 3rd being beer and menthol fagins!

We trek now, for hours through jungles and shit! Occasionally coming across some monkeys or a spider that looks like it'd take down a rhino.. But you know, that's just our lives now. 

Yesterday we hiked to a natural pool, some prison ruins and this WATERFALL!! I am sitting in it trying to recreate a herbal essence advert, correct.

This is David our French friend.  He lives on a diet of liquids and weed (the cure!) and sometimes wears a skirt.  He's teaching us Spanish in prep for Argy, which I can't seem to do without a full lisp.. To everyone's amusement.

Today looked mostly like this... Such terrible times.

Next porto, Paraty!

Hi Rio!

Well 3 days in and I'd say I'm already an avid backpacker! 

Basically I sleep in a dorm with 10 strangers and shit and shower in a room with a metre square hole right out into the street. Yep!

So Rio is insane! It is amazing and frightening in equal measures. We've been to ridiculous street party's and watched the sexiest pensioners I've ever seen samba, clutched each other's hands as we quite honestly fear for each other's safety, and saw a monkey on a lamp post... on a lamp post!!

Today we went to see Christ the Redeemer, which was massively awesome! We queued for a million hours in scorchio, but I can only describe it the way most people discribe child birth.. horrific until you get there, then you forget all the pain because of how amazing it is. Fucking amazing!

We love, and also hate Rio! Haha!