NZ North

In a conscious bid not to go on about the beauty that is the NZ scenery.. But also go on about it a bit, I've condensed some of the wee weekend trips into one easy to digest instalment.. Welcome.

First Mount Maunganui

So this is in a place called The Bay of Plenty... Plenty posh folk.  It's a beach town famed for water sporting activities, gorgeous waterfront houses and cafés, and a massive mountain that over looks miles of untouched ocean and landmass.  

It is made up by a majority of loaded New Zealanders that comrade here in their classic cars to their ridiculously sized holiday batches, and a decent portion of boozey surfers and travellers that pack out the towns Irish pub for Jaeger induced sing songs.. So we did just that! And we climbed the mount, ate the worlds BBQ and sampled honey brewed beer in well received proportions.. Oh and I'd packed mismatched trainers so did most of this sporting a Reebox / Converse combo 👍

Cathedral Cove, Coromandel

We went on a family day out to this treat, and it swiftly became one of the top most amazing things to look at with my eyes.

You drive up to a kinda hill top and take a mildly trying hike through some woods, before being greeted with what looks like a man made, CGI'd / filtered film set.. It's insane!! It was used in one of a Narnia films and a Macclemore video, and now my dreams.. I honestly almost cried at it's loveliness!

What you find a lot in NZ is that everything's so quaint and untouched, unlike other beautiful beaches or famous landmarks around the globe that are packed with people and noise and local entrepreneurs selling Raybons, for most of our time at The Cove we were probably amongst 20-30 people max!  And we just sat and drank it in... Then ate a pie.. Then came away heartily fulfilled (by beauty and pastry). 

Loved this place so much!

Waiheke Island

This is a sun drenched Island off the coast of Auckland City, it was there the whole time that I was about, in all it's glory.. yet it still took me 6 months to make the 30 min ferry ride over to see it.  Loser.

I decided to make this my leaving trip destination of choice, and got my favourites to join me for a day of wine drinking and malarkies! 

The day was scorching (as was the company obviously) and we went from civil sav sipping on the terrace, to beer drinking on the grass.. sliding gradually into a somewhat eye opening game of 'never have I ever!' HAHA you beasts!

Such a good time, thank you everyone for being brilliant! Xx

So I'm again jobless and homeless, and living my life from a solitary bag.. This time alone, but this time more prepared..... Am I?! 😳

Rooapayoo

Mount Ruapehu 

Officially described as 'the largest active volcano in NZ' 😳, Ruapehu is the booootiful ski mountain of North Islanders choice, about 5 hour drive out of Auckland central.  Most people stay in a wee town called Ohakune, and all pile in their batch complexes like an adult holiday camp.. if you don't go there during the ski season, you just ain't cool fool!  So me, a mixed selection of Irish and a tiny Kiwi embarked on the journey one eve.. 6 birds and 7 bottles of wine and a couple of snowboards.  

We arrived at our holiday home of dreams, 1 part excitement / 3 parts pinot noir.. I took one step out of the car, slipped over onto a tree trunk and was rendered nil by sudden movement for the rest of the trip… woop.   All was not a loss though, residing myself to the fact that I'd not be entering any extreme sports competitions (obvs would have been sans injury!), we donned some knits and up the mountain we went.  A couple of the girls got amongst the activities, and the rest of us went on the sledge slope and had a snow ball fight..  between 2 lunches and ample medicinal Coronas.

It really is stunning at the top of the mountain and a hive of mixed activities, even people skiing between parked cars and kids on tiny boards going about their own business.. fats, thins, infants and olds all equally as casually winter sports cool.  But after a day of watching the other kids play like a special on a trip with the community centre, we made our way back down to O town and spent the eve in the village's main inn, that goes from restaurant - sports bar - table top dancing disco all in the course of a Saturday eve.. It was many lols.

So my first road trip out of Auckland complete! And although it began with a tale of how my abnormally long pins almost killed me (again), it was still wicked.. and filled with many firsts - the most exciting of them being chips topped with sour cream and sweet chili sauce.  A weekend I think I’d sum up as 'eventfully uneventful?'

Auckland CBD

Sooooooo I'm thrice months my way through the Auckland times and would love to report a daily adventure like that of the amazon etc. but have actually just been hauled up in a sky tower, working for the man!

When we first arrived here, living out of what was now half a backpack of clothes and stinking of empinadas, we stayed in a hostel room of 10 for a couple of weeks.  It was nicer than most we'd stayed in before, had a massive kitchen, hot water, and an equal mix of Korean students and European strippers.  But it was time to grow up, get jobs and get back to the grind.. so I brought a blazer jacket and moved into a house. I live in a place called Ponsonby which is pretty cool.. so cool that the school kids meet for coffee in the morning, and not at the newsagents to buy fags with their dinner monies!?  I live with a Kiwi Personal Trainer, a Swedish Au pair and an Irish Physio.. the making of a man’s wet dream on paper, but unfortunately there are no scantily clad pillow fights, just a lot of watching the bachelor while don ill-fitting leisurewears

I would probably liken Auckland CBD to London in the 90s, where everyone loves a power suit and wears sunglasses in the winter.  Everything is overpriced and everyone pushes in at the bus stop.. but much like London, those that live here love it and you can pretty much spot an 'Aucklander' a mile away.. normally because they're staring at you awkwardly or are constantly on route to the gym.  But for what AKL lacks in genuine folk and Primark, it makes up for with Thai takeaways on every street corner.. and the fact that you're never more than a 10 minute walk to a waterfront..

Now when I say overpriced I mean courgettes have become luxurious in that they cost $10 for 3.. tres!  A terry's chocolate orange??  A mere 11 of your finest NLand dollars.. and a bottled cider in the local boozer would cost around $18, around 10GBPS!  So to keep myself in basic staples and a selection of mid-range confectionaries I had to get a j.o.b, and I work now as a PA for Auckland Council.  My job is a breeze and my boss is badass.. if a person could be likened to a carry on film or episode of faulty towers, he'd be it.. And because of that he overlooks things like my inability to spell my own name some days (actually happened)

So after an embarrassing amount of time in the office, or in a local watering hole with my most favourite Irish Niamh McCallion (more on her later), it's time to get the ol' Lonely Planet out and the travel back on.. Excitement level 11 about this!

The Colombians

So to my hearts break I lost my blower with a week of the South America trip to go, and have no Colombia photies at all :-(

Honestly (not regrettably) we really did fek all but follow the Caribbean coast up and down, tanning like old boots!

So to sum up Colombia;

CARTAGENA
Taught to Salsa dance by a very drunk old man, that looked a bit like a cartoon monkey.
Strolled the old town aka inside a Disney film!
Got motor taxis (teen boys on rambler bikes) to the most beautiful beach my eyes did see, Playa Blanca.
Had a mud / fart bath in a 50ft high volcano (Photie stollen from a pals FB) 

PALOMINO

Met a feking loco guy from Manchester that we had to hide from daily.
Picked mangoes from the tree outside our room for breakfast.

TAGANGA 
Had my flip flops stealthy stollen by a crazy cat lady.
Went to a nightclub with an outdoor dancefloor overlooking the sea - D boats!

SANTA MARTA

Broke a hammock with my holiday weight.
Got a lapdance off a Will Ferrel lookalike.

...and that was about it!

So after some of the most amazing experiences of our lives we left SA with a tan, some conversation (ferel) spanish, and a slight addiction to plantain chips... 

Nexto, Auckland and 'Corbs & Pears the NZ times'...EEEEE!!!

GALAPAGOSES

Go to The Galapagos!! I promise the experience will burn into your memory banks forever more!

As soon as we arrived there were sea lions rolling around the boat and flocks of giant pelicans all around us, and people are just passing by.. like this shits no thing rand ere!?!

Our first night was quite a chilled one so we just mooched about...you know, sat on the edge of the peer with some sea lions, watching some baby sharks frolicing under foot!

The next day we trekked around Santa Cruz where we where staying, such a beautiful place to be. Even taking away all the wild life, just the beaches and clear waters are insane!

We went to see lava caves and lagoons, beach coves that can only be accessed by water taxi and the Charles Darwin research centre where we watched for longer than probably deemed acceptable, 2 tortoises have the sexy times...

We went on a trip to San Cristobal on our second day, which went about becoming one of my favourites ever!

Firstly we fully snorkel like professionals now, don a wet suit and flippers, the whole shindig! Once in our get up we went to a remote island and sat on a beach with no one around but a hoard of sea lions..

Then we snorkelled around the islands and saw some turtles and a sting ray..

Then we went ashore on the other side of the island and walked around with black land iguanas..

Then we went to Kicker Rock, to swim with sharks!!!

When we booked the tour the lady told us to hang back and not jump in the water first, as it'd be frightening to be the first to sight a shark... So naturally we were the very last out of the boat!

The waters were so deep that for a few minutes you don't really see anything, then things cleared and we realised there were about 5 sharks directly below us. The shitters!! Hahaaaa!

We were just coming to terms with the situ below, when a turtle floated by my face and almost touched me with its fin/arm/leg?! 

Then our guide shouted for us to follow him through the rocks and 3 sea lions swam past us, posing for pictures! If we rolled over, they did the same..and if we approached them, they'd act all nonchalant and do some loops and rolls and stuff.. we were basically hanging out, playing fooleries with some sea lions

We saw loads of tropical fish and manta rays too, and had to hide from a swam of birds that kept swooping in trying to have off with our snorkels... The whole time being rigidly awares of jaws at 6'oclock!

Basically they sensed we were hard, so we survive to tell the tale, AND fulfilled a bucket list item too.. 'Go To The Galapagos, don't poo yourself in a wet suit' CHECK!

Montanita

Soooo like Mancora, Montanita was a beach side surfers dream.. We don't surf, but like to watch those that do, so all was grand. We came here to kill some time before our Galaps trip, and ended up staying the week long!

This was the most authentically hobo-ish place I'd say I've ever been.. A good portion of the locals don't wear shoes at all, many have a fully formed head of shit locks, and they sell just about anything in a bid to laze around I recon.. Food, drinks, juggling skills, homemade narcs and cocktails from a cool box. Very chilled out and carefree times.

On our first afternoon we partook in a space cake on the beach.. It was about the size of a golf ball and had us in bed by 6pm! 

We randomly met up with Swiss friendlys we'd met in Buenos Aires, with their beautiful hearts and faces.. And were made to have 2-3 very late nights on the toon (knife at the throat joby obvs!).. So what was supposed to be a week of doing old school fak all, left us reeling for about a week after! 

We're yet to actually get on a surf board, having not overcome the fear of water in the eyes.......... But it is going to happen on this trip, it is!!

Men'corrra

Stoppo nexto was Mancora, a beach side town on the west coast of Peru. There's not a lot of bad that can be said about sitting on the sand all day, in scorcho sun, watching many men surf... And that's mostly what we did.

Our hostel was literally on the main beach, and aside it occasionally coming across a bit Benidorm, it was all we needed.. I mean it had a pool and toilet roll, both of which have become like gold dust in these parts.

We were introduced to rum slushies here, which after 4 days were no longer our friends.. We also met Todd from Landan, who's misfortunes with a pair of hair clippers that ran out of battery half way through his hair cut, made us laugh to wet pants.. That and his likening to Jordan's son Harvey when he laughs. He's a new favourite.

Funnily enough, from all of the countries we have been to and as 'unsafe' or un-touristy some places have been.. Mancora became the most dangerous. 3 people we knew had their taxis high jacked in one night, and their pockets contents cleared out! We left a local club one morn and when we were one foot in the taxi, I received a poo finger! A bum grab so intense that a man was almost knuckle deep in my A zone.. It was neither welcomed nor satisfying!

We booked our bus out of there shortly after these treats, and made our way to country 5, Ecuador! 

Excitement levels now 0.Million, having just booked our trip to THE GALAPAGOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!