Lake Tekapo and Mount Cook

I have no words to describe what my mince pies have gazeth uponeth today....

Lake Tekapo

Mount Cook

I look like I'm in front of a staged back drop for goodness sakes!!!!

NB: No filters were used in the production of this blog post.  For real!

Akaroa

So maybe 1.5hrs outside of Christchurch is a seaside town called Akaroa, where the world famous salmon comes from! (I hadn't heard of it either).  It's on Banks Peninsular, a huge lake off the east coast, and apparently I was lucky with the weather and time of day here apparently, but it was bloody beautiful!!  The village itself has all kinds little cafés and shops, all that look over this totally stunning pool of water!  The people here was lovely too, all overly friendly and helpful, and after stopping to ask a lady where the toilets were, she would wave across the road every time she saw me, which on a different day might have been annoying.. today it was great!

I'd booked onto a boat trip and this lovely couple (and wavey old lady) got us on a little yatch, gave us complimentary food and drinks, then took us out wildlife spotting for 2 hours around the peninsular.. And honestly, my face hurt from smiling so much by the end! Haha! Geek.

The mountains and caves were totally amazing themselves, but then we saw blue and white penguins, a seal colony and loads of dolphins! Loads of them, just swimming with the boat, jumping out of the water about an arms length away from us!! 

The boat skipper was talking a guided tour and at one point said, almost disapprovingly 'Yes they are quite promiscuous too these dolphins, sometimes 20-30 times a day!' which I obviously found hilair, the rest of the people on board (mainly rich Americans) did not however.. Awkward!

Anyhoo the boat trip was feking brilliant, and half the price of the whale watching tour I'd missed earlier in the week.  Boom!  

I finished my trip with freshly caught lemon fish and chips on the water front and nearly had my eyes pecked out by seagulls

Unfortunate Tales of The South

I'm pretty sure that in all of my over excitement and ill-planned haste I brought this upon myself.. But I'll tell you that I did not care for it all the same!  My first day on the South Island went like this..

I got off the ferry in Picton and went to pick up my rental car, but they wouldn't let me have it because I didn't have a credit card.  A NZ debit card would not suffice it's seems.  In a panic at what to do now that all the buses out of there were booked up too, I went to the rental company next door...  I walked in and saw that the teller was a big butch lesbian (my blog, I'll stereotype if I want to) and so shamelessly played damsel in distress and flirted my way to a Nissan Tiida... With a discount 🙈

Safely on the road (minus my soul) I'd say I was 45mins into the journey and got pulled over by the police, breathalysed roadside and given a $120 fine for speeding. 

I rushed (within the speed limits of the NZ law) to Kaikoura for the whale watching tour I'd booked to do today.  As I arrived within an inch I was told that the tour had been cancelled because of weather conditions...

Determined to do something worthwhile on my day here, I drove the coast of Kaikoura looking for a seal colony that I read about in the LP... Not before the engine light of my Nissan came on though....  I just pulled up roadside and put my head to my steering wheel trying to figure out what I'd do, in ghost town, without any breakdown cover.... Luckily by the time I looked back up the light had gone off again.  For how long, we shall see..

I made it to the seal colony And that was awesome!  This beast was just sleeping on a rock, practically on the side of the road!!

It was early eve now so I decided I'd check in somewhere here and try the whale tour again tomorrow.  So I went back and try for an age to get into a car, that turned out not to be mine! And while I tried to get back my key that was now wedged in to the door of a strangers vehicle, a seagull did a watery shit on the roof of the car that splashed back onto my neck and jacket.  Perfect!

Wiped clean and in my own ride, I scrawled the internet trying to find somewhere to stay, but what's that, everywhere in town is full?  Of course is it!  So I bit the bullet and decided I'd have to drive 3 hours to the next city, Christchurch.

Half way to Christchurch I thought 'Shit Id better look for somewhere to stay there too!', so picked up my phone to get some hostel numbers and my battery is now on 2%.. Of which I'll need as sat nav when I get the city. I text my buddy Niamh McCallion to have a look online for me while I keep driving.... Oh but there are none available within double my maximum price limit?!

So with zero accommodation where I came from OR where I'm going to, I eventually drive through a tiny hick town and see a hotel.  They've got a room, I'm staying here.  I ask if there are any shops around to get food etc, but there isn't one for an hour drive either way.  I jest and say 'jeez it's the middle of nowhere hey' and the old guy says 'you're in the South Island of New Zealand young lady!' clearly offended by my bants.  All he can offer is a bottle shop he has next to the hotel, so I collect a bottle of Merlot, a double Picnic bar and get settled for the night in what looks like the beginning scenes of Wolf Creek..

Welly

My last stop on the North Island was Wellington, a city reet South of the Island.. And as cities go, I really liked it here!

It's much more like a European city than Auckland, in that the people are a lot more 'normal?' and seem less arsed about the price of someone's outfit than their conversational skills.  There was a mixed bag of buskers on every street, pound shops and drunk old men making chatter with anyone that would give them a mo's attention.

This guy was Scottish btw!

I was only here for a night really so didn't have time to go full tourist, but I walked the waterfront which was beautifully cool, and went to The Tapa Museum and saw loads of real cool original Moari shiz.. And the worlds biggest squid!

The waterfront has cafés and bars inside shipping containers and loads of other cool stuff, like a piano just perched on the seas edge.. just so sheek right!

I was a second thought away from pulling a Mike from Friends on this bad boy!

In the eve I went to the cinema by myself to watch The Mokingjay.. truely taking in the Pacific culture to it's fullest.  I nearly left the cinema mid film because it was so cold in there that I had a runny nose.. Then Niamh text to tell me that people would think I was a miserable cow and say things like 'no wonder she's in the cinema by herself!' HAHA! So I stayed.

The next morn I got the inter-island ferry over to Picton and the trip itself is worth paying to see.. Fuck it was beautiful! The boat goes through a mountain range called The Marlborough Sounds, which is jaw dropping loveliness.  Just passing through.. Whateves!

Next instalment, doon sooth! 

Rottingrua and Taupo

Rotorua is know as a 'thermal village' or 'sulphur-rich town' because the whole place is on-top of an active volcano crater making everything of liquid consistency 'geothermal'.  It's really cool in that there are walled pools in the middle of the street that steam and bubble all day, and loads of active lakes and ponds that are pretty to visit. There's even drains and pot holes dotted about the town that randomly start smoking.. I mean the ground is literally steaming like a kettle and people just step around it un phased!  Wery strangey. 

But as cool as the thermal stuff is, and it is something that you should definitely see, its sulphur.. Which means it stinks... Real bad... All the time.  Sometimes just a wee whiff in the air, but other times it feking wreaks and it's hard to discretely cover your nasal while trying not to offend the locals that live happily amongst the stench.  

Admittedly I had only one day here and there are loads of beautiful must sees around the town, but all in all it was a kind of surreal and dated place that ponged quiiiiiiiiite a lot!

Taupo is maybe an hour down the road and is too a town surrounding a massive lake, but it was more a travellers destination I'd say.

Here there are natural hot pools that you can just go swim in and these are next to a beautiful river that leads one way to Huka waterfalls and the other to the lake itself, where you can do all kinds of water sports and boat trips out to little islands etc.

The weather was not on my side here which sucked for lake and mountain visibility, or for doing any extreme activities.. but I walked the length of the lake and met a sweet German girl who I shot the breeze with whilst dangling my feet in the Waikato River

Tonight I night bus to Wellington, being my last stop on the North Island!! 

Waitomo-Fo

This place is a tiny little road side town with a population of maybe 6 people, 1 cafe and 1 hostel.. But you don't come here for the social life, you come for the caves!  I did a black water rafting cave tour, and it was so much frightening fun!! 

A group of us got dressed in wetsuits and coal miners hats, picked a rubber raft of choice and bused up to mouth of the Waitomo Glowworm Caves, where we started the tour by jumping backwards into an eel occupied river.  No poo or cry #already winning

Then we climbed into the caves, one face of brave terror after another, and it was just brilliant!  There was a river running below that we tubed through in near darkness, but then you turned off the helmet lights the whole cave turned into a starry sky of green glow worms! It was like a space centre simulation or something, so amazing!! It turned everyone mute in amazement, and took away completely from the fact that we were about 60mtrs into the ground 😳

We got to jump off a couple of mini waterfalls inside the cave, and perched up on some rocks to hear the tale that 'glowworms' is the commercial name for what are actually maggots with glow in the dark shit, that die of exhaustion after shagging for 48 hours straight.. Oh and ate a chocolate fish.

One guy got a bit claustrophobic and Yans (new fat German friend) struggled to fit through one of the caves.. but other than a guy pulling me by my ankle for a while because I was paddling myself into walls while gawping at the worms, I was a complete caving success and just bloody loved it!

In the eve I went back to the hostel on a farm and befriended some piglets and Dutchman.. And had to shout at Yans across the dorm room at 2am for snoring so loud it woke the whole room in bolt upright terror!

I'm waiting for the pictures from inside the caves, but will update the bloggo when they're through. Be excited.

NZ North

In a conscious bid not to go on about the beauty that is the NZ scenery.. But also go on about it a bit, I've condensed some of the wee weekend trips into one easy to digest instalment.. Welcome.

First Mount Maunganui

So this is in a place called The Bay of Plenty... Plenty posh folk.  It's a beach town famed for water sporting activities, gorgeous waterfront houses and cafés, and a massive mountain that over looks miles of untouched ocean and landmass.  

It is made up by a majority of loaded New Zealanders that comrade here in their classic cars to their ridiculously sized holiday batches, and a decent portion of boozey surfers and travellers that pack out the towns Irish pub for Jaeger induced sing songs.. So we did just that! And we climbed the mount, ate the worlds BBQ and sampled honey brewed beer in well received proportions.. Oh and I'd packed mismatched trainers so did most of this sporting a Reebox / Converse combo 👍

Cathedral Cove, Coromandel

We went on a family day out to this treat, and it swiftly became one of the top most amazing things to look at with my eyes.

You drive up to a kinda hill top and take a mildly trying hike through some woods, before being greeted with what looks like a man made, CGI'd / filtered film set.. It's insane!! It was used in one of a Narnia films and a Macclemore video, and now my dreams.. I honestly almost cried at it's loveliness!

What you find a lot in NZ is that everything's so quaint and untouched, unlike other beautiful beaches or famous landmarks around the globe that are packed with people and noise and local entrepreneurs selling Raybons, for most of our time at The Cove we were probably amongst 20-30 people max!  And we just sat and drank it in... Then ate a pie.. Then came away heartily fulfilled (by beauty and pastry). 

Loved this place so much!

Waiheke Island

This is a sun drenched Island off the coast of Auckland City, it was there the whole time that I was about, in all it's glory.. yet it still took me 6 months to make the 30 min ferry ride over to see it.  Loser.

I decided to make this my leaving trip destination of choice, and got my favourites to join me for a day of wine drinking and malarkies! 

The day was scorching (as was the company obviously) and we went from civil sav sipping on the terrace, to beer drinking on the grass.. sliding gradually into a somewhat eye opening game of 'never have I ever!' HAHA you beasts!

Such a good time, thank you everyone for being brilliant! Xx

So I'm again jobless and homeless, and living my life from a solitary bag.. This time alone, but this time more prepared..... Am I?! 😳